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fionagoodess:

when people ask you how school is:

image

itfeelspersonal:

You should be working Chris, not time for games

to every bug i have ever killed i am sorry :/

durbikins:

…sorry that your bitch asses came into my house uninvited

If My Dog Could Talk
Dog:  WAT DOING
Me:  Nothing. I just stood up.
Dog:  WHERE GO
Me:  I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
Dog:  CAN I COME
Me:  I mean sure but I'm literally just-
Dog:  I COME TOO
Dog:  WAT DOING
Me:  I need to open this door.
Dog:  I HALP
Me:  No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
Dog:  I HALP
Me:  Sigh.
Dog:  WHERE GOING
Me:  I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
Dog:  CAN I COME
Me:  Sure.
Dog:  I SIT IN LAP
Me:  No please don't you are-
Dog:  I SIT IN LAP
Me:  No there's no room and-
Dog:  LAP
Me:  No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
Dog:  RIGHT HERE
Me:  That's literally on top of my leg.
Dog:  IT'S PERFECT PET ME
Me:  I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
Dog:  PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me:  I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
Dog:  PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me:  I AM
Dog:  I SIT IN LAP
Dog:  PET ME PET ME PET ME
Dog:  HOLD SLOBBER TOY
Dog:  SNEEZE IN UR FACE
Me:  .......

fromunderthechristmascorktree:

so i came out on facebook today

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